My son speaks to me rudely and dictates what I do – just like his abusive dad


DEAR DEIDRE:  MY son speaks to me rudely and dictates what I should do. He sounds just like his dad, who has disappeared.

I got divorced after 21 years of abuse. I’m 43 now and I know I should have left sooner but I was scared.

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My son speaks to me rudely and dictates what I do – just like his dad who abused us both[/caption]

My eldest was 18 when we split. He’s 20 now and rents a house with his mates.

He seems happy enough and has a good job but he recently told me his dad was abusive to him just like he was to me.

I never knew because I was at work at the time.

I made him a cake for his birthday last week.

He said cakes are unhealthy and why make a cake when he isn’t a child? I was upset but I didn’t let on.

I have a great relationship with his brother, who’s just 17. So why is he being like this?

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DEIDRE SAYS: He’s just angry with life – for the way his father abused him and the miserable childhood he had.

He’ll be feeling rejection as well because his dad went away.

It’s very unfair but he is putting the blame on you.

Be patient and tell him you love him and know he is hurt.

He can find help to deal with that hurt and abuse through the National Association For People Abused As Children (

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